Friday, November 11, 2011
Suppressed feelingsss...
I wan to dance
I wan to spar
And i wan to perform poomsae
I wan to be on stage
To perform and shine away
I've dreams
That i cant realised
I dowan to end up at 40yrs old
With things i did not manage to do
But i cant choose
And i can only dream
Dreams will always be dreams
(".)Labels: Dreams
YLalalaaa`~@9:00 PM
9:00 PM
Monday, July 11, 2011
I wan...
...to move house like NOW!!!! )):
YLalalaaa`~@10:46 PM
10:46 PM
Sunday, June 26, 2011
I dunno wad to do
Its comin two years le.. N nw it seems like we're breakin apart.. I haf no idea wad to do to salvage things anymore.. Is dere still hope? Will putting in more effort change anything? Wad else can i do? Isit reali all my fault? Can i still believe in us? Wad is goin to happen nw? Wil things change or stay the same? Shud i gif it another shot? Or shud i get out nw while i still can? Can anyone tell mi wad shud i do? I feel like my heart's tearin apart.. N i juz wan to cry n cry n cry......
YLalalaaa`~@2:24 AM
2:24 AM
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
i cried cuz i care n it hurts..
i managed to stop myself from crying today..
how? idk..
YLalalaaa`~@4:54 PM
4:54 PM
tuesday
one week AL~~
sun was jannah's wedding.. rush down to meet angie they all aft aerobics training..
jannah was so pretty in her white wedding dress ((:
dinner was waraku jap.. yummz
yest stayed at home whole day.. supposed to do the audit thingy but damn.. didnt bring the stupid file home.. sian.. wasted the day.. cleared my room abit..
today.. woke up msg dar.. he replied sayin he's gonna book out n ask mi out..
aft tt we quarrelled over some stupid things n i stayed home while he went home.. fine wif mi.. ltr go training n enjoy myself den.. ass..
no appetite/mood to eat so my lunch's still beside mi nw.. nt nice to eat oso.. sian..Labels: wadever..
YLalalaaa`~@4:04 PM
4:04 PM
Sunday, September 13, 2009
lovely sunday...
today met cath to get my grading card den went sir's hse to pass him grading stuff..
my 1st dan grading's on 3oct.. cant wait! ((:
then i'll b black belt le ((:
bought snacks at cold storage den went home n online the whole day..
feels so nice to juz do wadever u feel like doin without a care for anything else..
onli thing bothering mi nw is my nose.. running n makin mi slpy >.<
last night was AH dinner n dance haha!
it kinda rocks actually..
wad do u expect fm a dnd of nurses n doctors n admin staffs n all?
seems boring? nope!! it was crazy wif all the performances n "costumes" haha! ((:
wif losta surprises too ;)
losta pictures in facebook (:
n i cut my hair! back to bangs again haha ((:
love my bangs (((:
darling u're in camp nw.. gona book out in 3days.. 3days wil come soooon ((:
cant wait to c u.. miss ya lots.. ((:
YLalalaaa`~@7:32 PM
7:32 PM
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
stay home tuesday (:
today is day off.. n its a tuesday.. n there is NO TRAINING!! >.<
cuz its study break in sch.. suxx!!
tournament is nx week.. n i default silver..
as if default bronze wasn't enough.. nw its silver.. -.-''
now i gotto aim for Gold.. 1st time sia.. stress-ed!
baby boy's in camp.. he booked in on sun night.. missing him..
cant wait for him to book out again..
retard boy's in camp for ard 10days den out for ard 4 days..
10days of waiting is like hell..
yest night went for dinner @ seoul garden wif angie n gang..
n dere is onli mi angie jianning sabina n jeffery..
yea double n a half date! how nice.. >.<
didnt know the rest all not goin.. -.-
ok la i did enjoy time wif the two couples and the food is great haha!
tmr back to work -.-Labels: i miss u
YLalalaaa`~@9:48 PM
9:48 PM
Saturday, July 25, 2009
((:
There is now a "Him" in my life officially as of 22 July 2009 (: <3Labels: i fell... in love (:
YLalalaaa`~@10:21 PM
10:21 PM
Thursday, July 16, 2009
updates!!
like finally im blogging.. due to popular demands haha :p
everytime i blog, i've to check my blog to c where my last post ends haha..
goes to show hw long it has been since i last blog-ed..
so here goess!! ((:
national poomsae i got silver.. happy but okok..
congrats to everyone elses too for winning a medal (:
NYPTKD did well dis time round.. ((((: good job!!
pa-stf.. damn anticipating n all prepared to go..
BUUT!! postponed.. )))))))):
cuz of tt kid who got killed aft the junior tournament..
damn traumatizing i think.. shall not go into details here..
so awaiting for stf to announce when is pa-stf..
*prays hard for brown belt seniors to not b ban-ed fm kickin head*
NO!! i shall not pray!! cuz everytime i pray for smth lidat it wil turn out the other way round.. :x
work.. so far so good i guess.. abit of stumbling here n dere but still holding on strong ((:
sat n sun was my day off.. supposed to work mon to sat dis wk..
planned to take AL for xin bday on wed n thu..
buuut!! sun night.. red eye.. damn sian.. mon morn got worse so went to doc..
conjuntivitis.. 3days mc.. mon tue n wed.. called ward to ask for AL on thu..
granted.. im glad (:
fri go back work.. scare i'll forget alot of things.. such a long break..
but i dun think so la hor haha! :p
smth else.. but shall save it for nx time.. (:
so longg!! ((:Labels: mq is a happy ger tonight.. (:
YLalalaaa`~@2:57 AM
2:57 AM
Saturday, May 30, 2009
haiz...
poomsae tournament in 2wks time omg!
today learn my pattern le...
2wks to perfect it.. 我行的! 加油加油加油!! ((:
today gona do poomsae for almost whole trg so i thot didnt tape knee nvm..
but!! 我错了...
when doin poomsae tt time can feel my knee wobble...
haiz... my knee 没有tape cmi le... )))):
gone case )):Labels: sadsad
YLalalaaa`~@12:02 AM
12:02 AM
Thursday, May 28, 2009
updates!!
club crawl: rocks my arse off! haha ((:
nyptkd orientation camp: it was a blast ((:
work: no comments
up next...
14june: national poomsae tournament
omg 2wks left onli shitt!!
5th july: tkd grading
goodluck ppl!!
11,12 july: PA-STF tournament
im aiming for smth dis time...
MEIQIN U CAN DO IT! yes i can ((: scarescarescaredamnitshit...
15,16 aug: nationals tournament
lets c wad happens in PA-STF haha...Labels: tts all (:
YLalalaaa`~@11:19 PM
11:19 PM
Sunday, May 3, 2009
!@#$%(*&^%$#$%
knn cb!
dis kinda thing oso wan quarrel wif mi.. nb!
it started off wif:
mi n kris @ dining table, stronger fan blowin @ us..
my mum n her mum @ sofa, weaker fan blowin @ them..
i finish eatin and go to the sofa, kris off stronger fan cuz she dun wan it..
i go n on stronger fan to blow @ us on the sofa...
kris shouts: u siao ar on the fan for wad one fan nt enough ar?
mi: i wan dis fan n i wil off the weaker fan can? u kp wad...
kris mum: (starts scolding mi for usin the word "kp")
i ignores... she goes on n on n on n got worse...
so i started to tel her to shut up n its my biz for usin kp she nt happy can dun listen
she: who tel u say in front of mi for mi to hear bla bla bla bla bla (non-stop)
i ignores... she stops... and cont again!
mi: u enough not?
kris: ur can shut up ma?
mi@kris: u diam ok.. u start one lo!
she kept quiet while her mum cont bla-ing on
mi: u enough alrdy hor shut up liao k..
her: u think i like to scold u bla bla
mi: dun like dun scold n shut up la!
her: (starts to cry) [duno wad wad] i gt alot of prob always ok [smth smth]
mi: (urge to scream profanities) u think onli u gt prob ar?
den i goes off to wash my plates
my mum joins in... so she n my mum rattles on abt duno wad wad wad..
i scream "SHUT UP!" at the top of my voice fm the kitchen..
(finish washin plates n goes to living rm) mi cont screaming @ the two women: CAN UR SHUT UP NT? NOT ENOUGH ISIT? (in tears alrdy...)
kris@mi: u dun siao can?
i turn to her: U DIAM LA!
her mum: i oso nt so loud u so loud for wad?
mi: I HAPPY CAN?!
my mum: shh shh keep quiet alrdy......
her mum: (smth smth) ltr whole blk hear u
mi: THEY HEAR THEIR PROB LA.. THEIR EAR BELONGS TO THEM MY MOUTH BELONGS TO MI WAD..
her: (smth smth) scream somemore ltr u sore throat den u noe
mi: I SORE THROAT MY PROB I HAPPY WAD!
dis cont for several mins n finally stops..
my guess is they stops cuz the two women dun wan the whole world to hear mi.
but i dun care.Labels: nb
YLalalaaa`~@8:16 PM
8:16 PM
Sunday, April 19, 2009
dis 2 weeks...
dis 2 weeks had pass in a flash..
been so busy with work and tkd...
almost all my free time is spent slping..
but im still not getting enough slp...
club crawl is coming wed n thu..
now is busy practicing...
almost everyday we're training...
lets hope all goes well (:
being busy is good.. leaves mi no time to think abt other matters...
im cool.Labels: worktkdworktkdworktkdworktkd
YLalalaaa`~@4:23 PM
4:23 PM
Sunday, April 12, 2009
wth
wth is wrong wif my life?
juz when im able to save up a considerable amt, everything is gone again...
when wil i be able to use my savings for wad its intended for..?
its juz so unfair..
even before receiving my 1st pay, i alrdy dun think its enough...
im so sick of dis life...
这种吃不饱饿不死的日子几时才会过? n im nt literally talkin abt onli food...
i miss my old carefree life.....
im losing interest in things.. i dun feel like doin anything...Labels: life sux
YLalalaaa`~@10:20 PM
10:20 PM
Monday, April 6, 2009
a damn nice song...
playin on my blog nw...
理想情人 (Ideal Lover)by Rainie Yang
穿上洋装看著手表 时间快到心碰碰的跳
和你的第一次约会来临了
金色的阳光洒满人行道 换了新脣膏把头发弄好
要你看到我的好
喜欢看你走路充满自信
说话时候你的专注眼神
温柔的表情笑容里的天真
我相信
找不到有比你更好的人
你心里理想情人是几分
是否也会有我的份
好想知道你的100分 会给怎样的人
亲爱的你不要再陌生增加我戏份
我想问
亲爱的你把感情升等 朋友变成情人
可不可以 告诉我标准
不要让我一直等
听著那时针滴答的走
对街的你在点头
好像一个梦 渐渐 走到我前头
well, i've deleted him alrdy...
msn, hotmail, facebook, hp, all his smses n even frienster...
but i still cant forget him...
at least not yet... i'll c how it goes ba... Labels: step by step
YLalalaaa`~@7:53 PM
7:53 PM
new chapter of MY life
decided to keep dis blog cuz
1. i like the blog name
2. i've created the new blog but still like dis skin better...
so yea...
today 1st day of work... almost died.. fm boredom, mispronounciation, crawling time...
tmr wil b a better day... we will b lost sheeps no more (:Labels: a brand new day, a fresh new start
YLalalaaa`~@7:23 PM
7:23 PM
Sunday, April 5, 2009
last post..
dis shall b my last post in here... wil b movin to a new blog soon...
i've asked someone dis before, "r u touch by mi or do u reali like mi?"
nw i regretted nt askin myself dis when we first get tgt...
im sry tim...
i still think of tt someone every now n den...
the periodically bumping into him made my brain dug up memories...
do i still like him?
tt i do not noe n i dun think i intend to find out...
perhaps the onli way to forget him completely is to delete him fm my life...
facebook,friendster,msn n mayb even fm my hp...
i thot time will mend everything without mi doing anything.. but... i guess.. 我错了...
爱和被爱, 谁能告诉我哪一样才是真正的幸福呢?Labels: the end
YLalalaaa`~@9:42 PM
9:42 PM
Thursday, April 2, 2009
in a whirl...
m i goin to b doing the right thing?
my mind's so screwed up right now...
i duno if im still clear abt wad i wan...
work's starting in a few day's time,
n i still have things unsettled...
its weighing mi down n keeping mi awake at night...
i hate dis feeling...
n i noe its my fault for procrastinating...
its reali a habit i gotto kick!
f*** procrastination.Labels: kick it
YLalalaaa`~@11:04 PM
11:04 PM
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
im back..
woo hoo!! im finally back to bloggin aft so long n so much.... (:
PRCP ended (: results out.. got B+.. satisfied (:
geron ward 3 postin got C+.. hai hao lo...
ntu open aka TOC over too..
i fell sick n lost weight so went into fin cath instead...
thot dis time so gd wont meet my oppo fm nationals..
but who noes.. female brown fin-fly combined..
met her in 1st bout again...
lose again.. but dis time 3-1.. i've improved n learn more.. ((:
nyptkd oso undergo huge changes...
firstly was sir steven tan fm liangseng,
den sir leon fm (dis club i've trouble wif the name)
n finally, sir brian peh aka bygon and mdm poh ling fm Raiders
these two r our head coach n assitant head coach..
they're god-sent fm heaven...
finally we no longer leave in the lurch..
finally we belong somewhere..
finally we do not haf to worry who's taking class..
finally we haf no worries over who's coachin for for tournament ((:
6th apr goto report for work @ AH alrdy... bt till den duno which ward i'll b @..
haiz... reali hope to go back to ward 13..
i guess tts all for now.. more updates soon.........Labels: soon its time..
YLalalaaa`~@10:16 PM
10:16 PM
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Massive Updates!!
35th National Taekwondo Championships
Female Senior Brown Belt Fly Bronze
yup tts wad i've got...
bt i bi-bout (default bronze) haha!
lost 5-0 (:
my opponent is the Gold medalist so,
i lost to a Gold Medalist sia... haha!
yes tournament is finally over...
relieved (:
though i've lost bt i've gain alot alot from dis tournament...
detailsss now.....
initially...
when i 1st know i bi-bout, i was so upset cuz it wuld means tt if i lost, i'll still haf to go up to receive my not-so-well-deserved bronze medal... n i dun like tt feeling...
however, i dun think i can win...
sir and my three seniors...
these 4 ppl haf been training mi and training wif mi this past mth and im glad for them...
mi: sir i wan join nationals (:
sir: *stare @ mi* u sure u wan join?
hanwei: u shudnt join cuz u're not ready
weiting n regina: *stares*
mi: ya i wan try (:
sir: ok u wan join muz train ok... trainin v tough one u noe?
mi: i know tough haha...
and so, we began...
training...
mon, fri, sat physical hell...
ran ard the neighbourhood den kick n kick n kick n wads not...
(tue train @ sch)
one fri, i literately ran til i hyperventilated n cried...
hanwei: fuck u! u're not strong enough... breath! dun pant! u're WEAK! i wont pity u juz cuz u cry... slowly breath out! deep slow breath...
yup tts wad he said/scolded...
though he didnt sound nice @ all, bt i feel tt he's supportin mi in his very own words...
tts how my senior talk (:
juz the fri before my tournament, i cried again...
dis time out of frustration...
the seniors wan mi do light contact and wan mi b fast...
bt i cant!
i cant kick lightly and quickly...
quickly wuld mean kicking hard n i dowan injure them juz before tournament...
hanwei scolded as usual... den they told mi to wash up n take a break..
regina: aiya dun cry liao la... my 1st tournament was also like shit... dun gif urself so much stress... sir oso nv expect alot fm u... not like mi n hanwei, sir expect us to gt a gold/silver... u dun so stress... its alright one... juz go n haf fun!
hanwei: ya haf fun can liao!
regina has grown a heart (quoted fm regina herself) (:
she used to b so fierce... haha!
weiting has oso always been there, helpin us carry stuffs and training alongside us (:
sir... fell sick the 1st sat we train...
he made all of us wear windbreaker and lent his to a senior...
the v nx day, he fell sick... i even had to help him take class the following mon...
he has given mi alot (:
the best sir ever (:
weiliang...
this is the guy tt coach mi for my tournament...
asked him to coach the others too cuz (disappointing guy) disappointed us as usual by nt comin down...
he has been very supportive all this while... (:
one of the 1st person i'll approach when i've met wif any prob regardin this tournament...
nyptkd commitee...
yes the whole commitee came down to support us all (:
all the screaming n shouting rocks (:
thx cat, alex, wenxin, huiying, joe, sandy...
and all those who came down... (:
tim...
my dar... the bestest bf ever (:
always alongside mi whenever i've any prob...
i love u (:
mummy...
she has always been worry abt mi n my knee...
n i know her heart aches when she c her precious getting wacked n injured...
bt still, she is there for mi always...
mummy i love u (:
the event...
sir called to inform tt he wont b free to come down and assures mi regina will b there to help mi and wishes mi luck (: (so much better den the disappointing guy who culdnt even b bothered)
not sure if (disappointing guy) is comin cuz he didnt even reply my sms, i gt tim to contact him...
he say he not comin wtf... ask mi find weiliang coach...
fine... weiliang says he'll help...
tim, leslie, zq n joreen came by my hse to collect the paddings n stuffs before we head to yishun sports hall...
the others joined us there...
sir called mi quite a few times to make sure things are alright for mi haha...
regina n hanwei came down specially for mi... (:
they left right aft my match aftwards haha...
leslie's match was our 1st match... weiliang as coach went up wif him to report...
den realised our headgearS all cannot use cuz gt no logo wtf...
to think (the-irresponsible-one) nv tel us... he IS supposed to noe...
borrowed headgears for the day...
leslie lost...
den joreen lost...
soon it was my turn...
my coach n mi...
as i change n warm up, i felt fine wif weiliang coachin mi...
soon, my bout was called... we walk up to registration and reported...
panic build up in mi... chatting wif weiliang n juz talkin crap had mi calm down alot alot...
everytime i start to panic, weiliang will b there talkin to mi...
he held all my stuffs for mi like a gd coach will...
he was reali my onli source of comfort and support when all my frens n family are all the way over the other side of the sports hall... (and i dun haf my hp wif mi!! )
met my opponent... chat abit...
she's in nus yr 3 alrdy...
2yrs ago when im not even in tkd, she's alrdy a brown belt... *faints*!!
i knew i was a goner... bt weiliang still encouraged mi all the way...
i realised hw impt havin the right coach was...
learnt...
during my fight, my friends n family were all watchin...
honestly speakin, in tt short 5mins, i've learnt alot alot alot...
i learnt tt,
juz hearin ur frens cheerin for u n shoutin ur name out loud, motivates u like hell n makes u hold on... (no the shouts arent distracting (: )
mouth guard wont drop out cuz u'll b biting it hard for ur dear life...
pain is almost non-existence...
every second counts...
its nothing like any training...
the experience is nth like anything i've heard...
i nid more warm up mentally...
juz kickin lidat for warm up is nt enough for mi...
my stamina n endurance is there for tournament alrdy...
i nid to brush up on my techniques n power...
nw i noe wad n how i nid to train...
prize giving...
the grp of us gers all sat tgt... gold, silver n bronze...
n did wad gers do best... chat! haha...
except the silver medalist for my category...
she sit way behind us like a loner... i tried talkin to her bt she like so cold...
den my gold medalist told mi she won tt ger by luck...
cuz tt ger's fm Sports Team and usually they gt gold...
nw she lost and like so bua song...
wad happen to sportsmanship man?
everybody else are v friendly... (:
the second day...
regina n hanwei fightin...
nyp side dennis n zhanquan fighting...
weiliang fightin for his own club...
the night before i ask tim,
mi: tmr who coachin them? (the disappointing guy) comin ar?
tim: shud b ba... dennis say he will come de...
mi: headgear hw?
tim: dennis say (disappointing guy) will help us borrow so dun nid worry...
mi thinks: (he better come tmr)
i went church in the morn...
receive sms fm tim say (disappointing guy) nt comin down liao...
he has ask dis other coach guy to take care of us...
bt come on man... tt fellow gt his own fighters to take care of oso wad...
no doubt tt guy is gd... he coach our fighters whenever he can n coaches well...
bt still... zhanquan lost 2nd match...
dennis made it to finals n lost the last match... so its a silver!
bt it still sux when our coach are nt ard...
when watchin zq's match, dennis felt so gan choing tt his heart pounded like mad...
i felt his pulse... pounding pulse...
when he report, he went alone...
headgear oso goto borrow himself... n he even went up without pail, spray, towel n bottle... (stuffs which weiliang carried for mi) den he anxiously ran back to us to take...
when watchin dennis's match, i realise his coach is diff...
tt coach coaching his own fighter in another court...
den i turn behind n asked zq,
mi: y (tt disppointing guy) not here?
zq: *weak smile* *shurg shoulder* *shakes head*
the look on his face spells utter disappointment...
i've ask joreen before who is coachin her, she say (disappointing guy) ba...
i say i've ask weiliang coach mi... she say she feel more comfy wif (disappointing guy)...
in the end oso weiliang coach her...
HE sux... big time!
hanwei coached regina as usual and she put up wad seems like a great fight to mi...
her knee hurts and she still manage to fight lidat... impressive...
hanwei won his 1st match... den lost 2nd... gt bronze...
his 2nd match was against dis coach of nus... much taller den hanwei...
bt hanwei still manage to score... (:
my injuries...
somehow her kicks all landed on my arm... below deltoid muscle (where u gt ur injections) there...
so nw, i have big big bruises on both my arm at the same area...
n its swollen... bt nt v pain... (:
(i've bigger biceps for nw haha! )
bt the bruises damn ugly...
her head kicks all landed on my jaw... left n right...
it hurts... bt still alright...
sat night while eatin i culd hardly open my jaws wide n so was eatin small small mouth n eat so slow haha! n it hurts when i chew my food... it even hurts when brushin my teeth... it hurts on sun too and was better on mon... today's much much better alrdy (:
lastly...
its a great tournament for mi overall...
ppl, dun ask hw it feels to b in a tournament...
go experience it for urself...
everybody's experiences are unique...
go haf urs (:
ntu-open championship 09, here i come (:Labels: end.
YLalalaaa`~@12:45 PM
12:45 PM
today is a bad day...
today sux...
tears welled up in my [alrdy-swollen-after-crying-like-shit] eyes as im typin dis...
nope its not the tournament...
the tournament rocks...
shall go into details tmr...
gdnight...Labels: haiz
YLalalaaa`~@1:31 AM
1:31 AM
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
clothes...
i've more den enough clothes for 7.24
bt
theres still so much more i wan :x
YLalalaaa`~@5:45 PM
5:45 PM
tournament is comin...
3 more days to tournament...
theres no words to describe hw i feel...
yest went out wif dar n angie to stock up...
new collection comin real soon...
losta pretty pretty stuffs (:
@ reali affortable price...
our 1st time wif dis supplier...
do support somesimplestuff.lj ppl! (:
aft tt was trainin in sch...
yest's training was great!
kickin den abit of technique den circuit sparring...
den actual sparring...
i sux @ circuit bt think i did rather well for actual sparring...
kinda surprise at wad i culd do...
at least i wasnt stunning there anymore n can move better haha!
managed to score quite abit...
juz pray hard tt i'll gt an opponent whose my height/shorter...
i wuldnt noe hw to spar someone taller... :
sir vinc was showin joreen hw to counter my counter kicks...
mi: not so hard ar...
him: ya la
mi: reali nt so hard lei... lightly ar!
him: YA la!!
mi: ok come
...i flew... -.-'''
he kick damn hard la! fake fake den backthrust...
i flew abt one meter plus...
he kana my left arm above elbow tt area...
the impact was so great tt my chest area below the contact point hurts alittle too...
den nw gt blue black... the size of a fifty-cent coin and 10-cent coin...
pain pain pain lo... -.-
today is rest day...
tmr go out... n take pic for sss new clothes (:
fri training... cant wait... i love trainings!
sat, tournament... hope all is well...
God bless mi (pray hard!)
hopin my opponent is nt christian den God can bless mi all the way ((:Labels: hope
YLalalaaa`~@1:40 PM
1:40 PM
Sunday, August 24, 2008
stress stress stressed
haiz... exam over... bt i still feel stress...
1. exams, results
2. tournament (comin sat, 30aug)
3. my knees
4. training camp
5. sss
6. nyptkd
7. nyptkd webbie
8. my family
9. papa
i think i stress utill im nt feelin well...
keep feelin like vomitin and headache...
fri training, onli trained awhile den vomit n teach pattern instead...
sat... skip trainin too...
today oso nv go church...
slp seems to b my onli escape now...
i onli got outta bed @ 2pm today... :Labels: how how
YLalalaaa`~@5:57 PM
5:57 PM
